What if....
Your job stressed you out so much that you were this close to heading for your doctor's office to beg for Xanax, which would be a HUGE step for you because you've always prided yourself on being able to handle stress?
What if.....
You had a lead on your old position opening back up, which would be a significant decrease in perceived, but not actual, status - and no decrease in pay?
What if.....
Quitting your current position would cause significant tension between yourself and the guys that you work with, who you really like and respect?
What if....
You thought you were over the whole climbing the corporate ladder gig and just wanted to hang in there long enough to get the kids into public school and lose the daycare payment (which is nearly equivalent to our mortgage payment), at which time you could find either find a part-time thing or quit entirely?
What if, Internets? Don't be shy now. HeatherPride needs some life advice.
Posted in participation with Jen's Spin Cycle on the subject of What If..?
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48 passengers on the bus:
You know that State Farm commercial with people facing a big choice in life? "I am so there."
Girl, if I had the chance (and John made the money), I would be rid of this stress!
Here's my advice to you: if the people really like you, they will want to see you happy. If you are happier in another spot, go to that spot. Personally, I like the dollar spot. I can afford it!
You're linked and good luck!
Since we talked about this already today you know where I stand :) But I thought I would throw my support your way again. Don't worry about the guys, they get over it and be ok. You need your sanity, for your sake, the kids' sake, Skip's sake, etc, etc, etc.
Love Ya :)
I've always believe that we aren't good to anyone else - if we aren't good to ourselves. If another job makes YOU less stressed and happier - everyone else will get over it. And as a side note - we are counting the days until public school!
I think you already know what your want to do. You should do it.
I think I would go for number one and beg for the Xanex. You might still be stressed, but it will be a fun stressed.
I'm with SK, you need to do what's going to make you happy. I'm about two seconds away for requesting happy pills myself.
Daycare costs, ugh! I'm sure you're going to do cartwheels when the kids are both in school. Good luck figuring out your conundrum, my dear.
I have learned (in my short 27 years) to do what makes you HAPPY. Screw everyone else (immidiate family not included) and live for today. Well, maybe not for today in this case but what will make you happy. And to truly follow your heart. Me and Hubby have got into some financial binds because of this way of living but it's better than not being happy.
Except for the "guy thing", all your points are screaming to take your old job back where you will be less stressed and still paid the same until such time as the kids are in school and you can ditch that job too.
Which stress would be worse? The one you have now OR the one you'd have with the guys if you switched to your old job? Take the job that's least stressful.
Stop worrying about the ladder. You've already said you're getting off it when the kids are in school. Why climb higher?
By the way, do you see these "guys" in your life 10 years from now? If so, then they are surely close enough to you to understand you need to switch jobs. If not, then why factor them in to your decision at all?
You know what to do. Good luck.
Hi Heather,
Gosh the internets are so smart!!!
I say do what's best for YOU! And that means making your life easier by putting yourself first. Difficult, I know, but it sounds like it's gotten to the point where it's necessary.
Really, your coworkers will get over it. And remember that's all they are, coworkers... I learned the hard way that being super-loyal like that really gains you nothing. At the end of the day, you don't owe each other anything. It's not like they're family, you know?
You have to take care of yourself first! Good luck!
Given that the daycare costs so much and you are not enjoying your job,is there a way you could redo your finances so you didn't have to work?
I know it may not be possible and if not then I say do whatever you have to in order to make yourself feel happier.
If paying for daycare is the only reason you work, then I would look into pulling the kids out of daycare and staying home. If taking your old job back would make you happy, I would seriously consider that as well. Stressing yourself out to the point of needing Xanex, so not worth it.
Make the decision on what will be best for your kids. If one will give you more time with them, then that should be the one. Time will always outweigh money and things.
If they both have the same pay and same stress level, then go see one of those palm readers.
I think it has all been said ... my first thought was ditch the job and enjoy the kids -- but this not for everyone!
But as most have said find what is least stressful for you, everything and everyone else will figure it out.
Sister, no job is worth the stress you've been under. I'm already praying about this new opportunity for you. The guys will get over it. You're opening an opportunity for someone else who maybe wants to advance, and you'll be able to leave work at work again. Love ya!!
Life is too darn short. I ended up taking a job with much less prestige, responsibility, blah blah blah, more time with my family and more money. They're not babies for ever and they like mamas that aren't stressed out. Do you pray? I would start there if you do :)
I'm in all sorts of agreement with these smart internet folks!
Sure there will be some bumps in making a switch - but sounds like the outcome will make for a much happier HeatherPride. That's what I vote for.
Okay, here are my thoughts... Stress is an inevitable part of life. Do not go out of your way to invite more stress into your life. Trust me, you will have enough without inviting more. With that said, make the move to the less stressful spot. You will be happier. And if Mama is happy, everyone is happy.
IN 1996 I was downsized from a high status, pretty well paying job that I'd had for 12 years. One of the first emotions I felt was relief. That was very telling. Though I was hurt, and worried, and all the rest, I was relieved. I took another job that is much less stressful and actually felt GUILTY for it, which shows you how much the stress was screwing with my mind.
When it takes you hours to decompress, when you feel depressed and anxious on Sunday afternoon because you know the weekend is almost over, when you lay in bed worrying about clients and the 2 things you may not have done (ignoring the 1000 things you DID do) its time to go. Co-workers will get over it.
If you can lighten the load...do it. Same money, less misery...sounds like a no brainer to me.
Yeah! What they all said! You need to look out for numero uno, here, Ms. Pride! Less stress is best!
They'll get over it. You may not if you do yourself permanent mental damage.
Hmmm...it becomes difficult and gray-ish when you mention your coworkers who might be upset by your job change. But then, you must consider this: if any of them was shown a "better" position do you think they'd turn it down because it might hurt your feelings? I'm guessing not. It's wonderful to like and get along with your coworkers but if there's another option that's better for you and thus, your family, I think it's kind of a no-brainer. Go for it.
Oh, and go for the Xannies, too. Here's a cliff. Jump off it. Because I said so. ;)
SANITY FIRST!
you do what you need to do for you. Dont worry about what it will do to the people at your current job. You have to look out for yourself.
Good luck on making the decision, and keep us in the loop!
Quick background - I already quit my job so I am totally biased and you can feel free to ignore this completely if you want.
I did the math and found out that after childcare, transportation and all the other costs (work clothes, more meals out, more prepared stuff) I would be working for like $500 a month (and I made decent money).
Your math might be totally different, but it might be worth cranking the numbers if you're not happy.
I vote you do what makes you happy. If that means taking a different job then do it.
You do what is best for YOU. And it sounds like that means leaving the stress behind.
Quick background - I already quit my job so I am totally biased and you can feel free to ignore this completely if you want.
I did the math and found out that after childcare, transportation and all the other costs (work clothes, more meals out, more prepared stuff) I would be working for like $500 a month (and I made decent money).
Your math might be totally different, but it might be worth cranking the numbers if you're not happy.
I vote you do what makes you happy. If that means taking a different job then do it.
Quick background - I already quit my job so I am totally biased and you can feel free to ignore this completely if you want.
I did the math and found out that after childcare, transportation and all the other costs (work clothes, more meals out, more prepared stuff) I would be working for like $500 a month (and I made decent money).
Your math might be totally different, but it might be worth cranking the numbers if you're not happy.
I vote you do what makes you happy. If that means taking a different job then do it.
I am totally missing the mark on my comments today ...sorry about that anonymous submission ... it was from me and it's probably the fifth time I've done that today.
Hey Cuz!
a.) you've never been a corperate ladder kind of gal. You still deserve at some point to have your winery and bed and breakfast.
b.) You know things will be easier at home if you didn't have to bring home the stress of work.
c.) Your happiness is way more important in the family than your status. For some reason we (the second generation) think that we have to do something big, but all our family has EVER wanted from us is TRUE happiness. That's what you deserve.
d.) Do what makes you happy, and you have everyone on our sides support.
e.) I LOVE YOU! Please come to Cali soon!
You need to get rid of the stress, first, beyond that, your co-workers don't matter. Of course I don't really mean that as awful as it sounded, but what I mean is...it is your life and when it comes down to it....what is more important? Your happiness or the happiness of your co-workers. You have to worry about you.
Gosh that sounds awful, but I don't mean it that way.
If I were there, I would do what was best for me, and best for my family. Co-workers, respected or not, do not go to sleep with you (I hope). You sleep with you, your husband sleeps with you, and your kids (at some point have or will) sleep with you. I won't perceive your status any lower, I promise! But I don't sleep with you, so it doesn't even matter.
You have to do what is right for you and your family. I have gone through many jobs because of the fact that many are not accepting of my family situation and I have to leave when things get too rough.
The important thing is that you need to find what makes you happy and what works for your family, everything else will fall into place.
Hey, how are you doing?
Hey, how are you doing?
HP HP HP - same money? less stress? I have to agree with the "nets" do for YOU! The guys? They want to see you happy and if not? Oh well, take care of you first! Even on an airplane - they tell you to put YOUR oxygen mask on first and then help others - you're NO GOOD TO ANYONE unless you take care of you!
Good luck!
Life is too short spending it asking yourself "What if?". Instead, ask yourself what would make you happy... it doesn't sound as though you are working where you do. I think there you have your answer.
Just do what's best for you and the rest will come.
Smooches.
I don't know how people can even do the daycare payment.
My wife works at a daycare which is owned by her best girlfiend, hence free daycare for us. But if we didn't have that sweet hook-up, the wife would still be a SAHM because she wouldn't be able to offset the daycare charges by working, or not significantly enough to make it worthwhile anyway.
Just follow your gut. What does your gut tell you to do? If that doesn't work, make a list of pros and cons. Then follow your gut, anyway!
Dang, that si so my struggle. I took myslef out of the rat race when I moved thinking it was what I wanted. It was, it is but I so miss being high on the ladder. I was taken down a few notches (emotionally) when I realized I lost my spot on the ladder. That is a hard decision and there are pros and cons to both. My goal (maybe still is) to work for the school system once my last kid is in school to have their schedule. Like you, my second home is my child care payment and can do NOTHING until the last one is in school.
Thanks for not forgetting me! My breaks over at work so I'll have to make this quick....We've been crazy busy lately...we found out that we're expecting another babay due in August!!! I'll try to find time to update my blog soon...where does the time go? With an 18 month old duaghtr it feel like like is on hyper speed.... well gotta go. Catch ya soon!
OMG. A decrease in stress, but not a decrease in your standard of living...do not pass go as you follow up on the lead for your previous position.
Do what you need to do for yourself. Your sanity comes first. Xanax is good stuff.
first go get the xanax as it never hurts to have it around but do it now b/c it's easier when you don't have to act stressed.
Then quit and go to the other job and do what makes you happy. Life is too short (no pun on the name of your blog) LOL
Lots of love
Wow, you need to listen to your internet buddies, they are smart. Watch out for the Xanax it is addictive. Old job, same pay, less stress. Good luck!!
Oh dear, are we having the same conversations with ourselves? It seems like it... You need to do what is best for YOU and not worry about the guys you work with - there will be time later for climbing further up the ladder if you decide you want to, like once the kiddos are in jr. high or so? ;)
{{hugs}}
Steph
Great spin. A newbie here, but I say follow your heart.
How did I miss this? I take a few days off and one of my faves has a life crisis? We need to work out a calendar or something for things like this so none of us miss supporting eachother.
Sanity wins every time. There's my vote.
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